Friday, 26 February 2016

English Alternative Assessment corrections by Tan Ray Shyuan

      "Run!” Kendra yelled at Jewel. They ran as fast as lightning but were still caught by a

mischievous piglet. “ I finally caught you!  Little humans,” It  said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Kendra and Jewel were then placed in a big jar with holes in the lid.  “Jewel! Why did you do

this?” Kendra yelled at Jewel. Apparently, they had gone to a parallel universe, via a portal.                                                                                                                                  

      “ Here you go.” The piglet said as he threw Kendra and Jewel into a  cage.Their eyes darted

from side to side, to their surprise, many humans were living in the cage.                                                                                                            

        The cage’s condition was horrible, it smelled like rotten eggs, with human faeces everywhere.

Kendra and Jewel could not believe their eyes; they had to find a way to escape.

      That night, Kendra and Jewel had to sleep on filthy mattresses. The next day, Kendra

Revealed her big plan to the humans living there. When she talked to the humans, they all

approved of her idea, but knew that it was impossible for that to happen.

           “ Eureka!” Kendra shrieked. A brilliant idea suddenly struck her. “ What is it?” Jewel

asked curiously.  “  When the piglet feeds us and opens the gate,  someone will run out so that

The attention goes to him, and then, we will all dash out! Kendra explained.

      “Creak," the gate opened, they sprang into action.  John, a fellow human, sacrificed himself

Moreover, tried to divert attention.Then, the piglet started to chase after him. However, they had

underestimated it, it quickly caught up with John and squashed him in a blink of

An eye. Everyone was shocked with fear; they had shivers sent down their spines.

      “ That is what will happen if any of you try to escape!” It laughed. The look in the piglet eyes made their blood run cold. Then, he walked away.   “                              

         Kendra asked the remaining humans remorsefully, “ Anyone still wants to join me for plan

          B?”. There was a long silence.

        “ We must avenge John’s death!” some humans protested. On the other hand, some

people disagreed as more innocent lives might be sacrificed.

        Everyone began distrusting each other, and if that were to continue, they would be stuck

There forever! Kendra wanted to change the mindset of them; thus, she gave motivational speeches to encourage them to work together.

        After many talks, everyone finally agreed. Now, they had to carry out the plan, “ To play

dead”. “ It may seem simple, but, one wrong move and we are all dead as a dodo,” Jewel


       The next morning, plan B was carried out. They laid on the ground, not moving a single

muscle. Finally, piglet woke up and was dumbfounded to see all of his "pets" lifelessly on the

ground. Kendra and Jewel and stayed as still as a statue. It then throw them around, checking if

they were dead.                                                                                        

     After what seemed like an eternity, the piglet gave up and was convinced that they were all

dead. He then left the cage at the garbage dump.

        “ We are free!” Everyone screamed with joy; they were finally out of misery! If it was not for

Kendra's determination; they would be still trapped in that "living hell."

 Somebody: Kendra and Jewel Wanted: To escape the cage But: Their plan failed So: The

humans had a conflict Then: They decided to work together

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