Sunday, 28 February 2016

Language Arts Alternative Assessment 1 by Max (Corrections)

As the lift descended from the tall skyscraper, in which Timothy had lived in his entire life. While the elevator fell towards the ground, he kept thinking of what the surface looked. Would it be filled with trees and vehicles? When he asked about the surface at the dinner table, his parents would shy away from the topic. Finally, the lift slowed, and the large metal door of the lift thundered open. When the door, opened a large gust of wind hit Timothy’s face, he could feel the warm air surround him and the smell emanating from the outside was putrid. When he took a step outside, he could see the soaring skyscrapers dominating the skyline of City No. 3. Not long after he stepped out of the doorway, he found himself in the middle of a large crowd.

Once he finally managed to squeeze his way through the crowd to the other side of the street, he noticed an old woman sitting against a wall. The old lady looked very frail. As she sat there begging for change. As he approached her she looked at him with suspicious eyes, she then turned back to the street and continued her begging. Timothy was confused, in History class, he had learnt, in the past there were people so poor that they had to beg for money though he had never seen one before! He placed $50 in the hands of the old woman. The old lady seemed shocked at first then she turned up to look at him. Before she could say anything, a rumble was heard. Timothy turned up to see what was causing it and turned to look at the old woman but saw that she was gone. Then he heard a yell and people started fleeing, screaming in fear.

While people fled, Timothy saw water began to flow into the street. Panicking as the people scrambled to get to one of the roadside buildings, he spotted a small building closest to him and made a run for it. When Timothy made his way into the building, he could see a few people trying to make it in as well, but they were too late as the shutters on top of the building lowered before they could make it inside, trapping them outside. Timothy could not believe what just happened he stood still silent in the crowd, after minutes of silence; he mustered enough courage to start asking questions. He approached a large middle-aged man standing in the crowd. “Are floods commonplace here?” The man looked at him before answering him “It’s been like that since the sea levels started to rise too high due to melting ice caps due to Global Warming.. If the dams at the mouth of the rivers and the walls surrounding the city weren't there, the entire surface of City No. 3 would be underwater by now.” Timothy was stunned; he did not know the floods were that severe.” Suddenly an announcement came out of nowhere “ Please avoid the streets on Friday, as we are raising the sidewalks.” Suddenly the shutters opened, and the people came crashing out of the building that Timothy realised was a restaurant.
Then the crowds once again returned to normal, Timothy rushed back to the large metal door that took him down to the surface. He had much to think about after that incident.

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