Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Level Test 1 essay corrections by Aastha (01)

English Level Test 1 Essay (3)
Name: Aastha Singh (01) Class: S1-03

           "Ring! Ring! Jane's alarm clock rang loud, signalling for her to wake up for school. She dressed in her uniform and walked out of the house towards her school. She was very excited because she was working on a project with Lily, her friend. Lily was new to that school. She was very spoilt and bad-tempered, but Jane, being a humble and kind person, befriended her, because no one in her class was ready to do so. Jane believed that everyone had a right to be loved and not be lonely, no matter what their personality was. She was feeling pitiful for Lily when she saw that everyone in the class was trying their best to avoid her. She hoped that through their friendship, Lily would mend her ways and be well-liked by her classmates. Lily had seemed to settle down so far, after a whole semester in school. She also appeared to be more polite to others. Jane was glad that Lily was changing. She smiled to herself and went to school.
          After another fun-filled day at school, Jane and Lily were walking back home, chatting excitedly. The scorching sun made no difference to their endless chatter. Suddenly, they heard a pitiful wail coming from the opposite direction. Jane ran towards the direction, desperate to find the source of the wail. At last, she found it. A stray dog, whose front leg was sore, stood in front of her. It was trembling in fear and had its eyes shut tight. Its coat was brown, rough, and unevenly cut. Its legs were stout, and its body was flat and short. Jane's heart instantly melted at the sight of the poor dog. She carried it carefully and cradled it in her arms. She could infer that the dog's previous owner had left it behind carelessly as it had a collar but no name or address.
          Lily appeared before her, but seeing the ugly dog in her hands, she gave a cry of disgust and ran away. Jane was surprised at her reaction but shrugged it away and brought the dog back home. She bathed its wounds. Then, Jane drew out notices on a lost dog with all the information she could get from it. She then went around the entire neighbourhood, pasting the notices in the void decks of the blocks. The next day, she went to school and asked almost everyone if they had lost a dog. All of them denied. In the midst of all this, Jane had also noticed that Lily had not spoken to her the entire day. She wondered what was the reason for Lily being upset.
          After dismissal from school, Lily walked off before Jane. Jane quickly caught up with her and asked her the reason for her being upset. Lily told her that the reason was the ugly dog. With that, she walked off at a much faster pace, leaving Jane behind. When Lily entered the void deck of her block, she saw Jane's poster. It read, "Lost brown dog found with a red collar. Call Jane if the dog belongs to you or if you want to adopt it." Lily realised that Jane was not an ordinary person. Jane was very kind and had a great heart. She was not at all biassed towards any living thing, be it human or animal. Lily realised her mistake and decided to apologise to her.
          Lily found Jane walking the dog in the park nearby her house. Jane stopped and looked at Lily, puzzled. Lily apologised to her sincerely for her misunderstanding. . This time, she looked at the dog from a different perspective. Lily then saw it as a poor dog, left behind by its owner, and found by a kind girl, Jane. She helped Jane to take care of the dog. She learnt that all living things, no matter how they look, deserved to be loved.

          Days passed, but no one appeared at Jane's door to claim a lost dog. She was anxious for the dog, as its owner may be looking for it. She decided to put up more notices. She almost left the house to do so, when a desperate and worried looking man appeared at her door. Just then, the dog walked up to the door and wagged its tail wildly. Jane smiled and understood what it meant. She was glad that the dog found its owner, and also that she had done a noble deed.

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