english AA sarah fareed kagda

Name: Sarah

Class: S1-03

Date and Time: 29/1/2016

Title: The Mysterious paradise (Final)

There was a person, with his crew floating around space. His name was Tim, and he was lost in space with his crew in their gleaming spaceship.

Tim held a discussion. “We have escaped earth's death. Now what?” Tim started, remembering the depleting and wasting. All they had ever done. “Well, I should believe we were not fated to survive. As such, we should maybe go on a suicide mission?” answered Perry, their second-hand man. The crew were all strong believers in fate, and fate had said no to survivors. “I should agree. Any suggestions on the mission to uptake?” Sam, the ship’s engineer, continued. “well Samantha, maybe a black hole will suffice? I hear there's a theory by Stephen Hawking that black holes may lead to another universe.” Arthur said in his booming voice. Not being able to think of anything else, Tim agreed. This way, they would either make amazing discoveries or die, rightfully so.

Sam checked everything. Everything was ready.They took off, zipping through the stars. They watched the stars and gazed at the planets. It was beautiful. It was as if it were fate.

Then, they were there. They knew it was the black hole, as an explosion of everything was sucked into it. It spiralled and turned, and they knew it was because of a tiny dot, the size of an eraser, that was, well, 4 million times the mass of the sun. "hey just like the description I read! They said black holes like this might lead to another universe." Perry exclaimed excitedly. They hurtled towards it, wanting to discover more. Deeper into the hole in space. It became blacker, pitch black then blacker still.

Then it was bright and white everywhere, a white so intense it almost seemed black, so blinding that they almost crumbled into nothing. It was so silent, and they could almost see it floating in the air. “This might be it!” Tim said awkwardly. Thank goodness he broke the silence. Goodness knows what might have happened.

Then there was a problematic piece of shipwreck heading towards them.

They had to move fast. Tim immediately climbed into his suit and started climbing out. The crew knew he would not come back. “Tim don’t! I…I….never got to tell you…” Sam whimpered. Tim had known long before. Sam had always liked him. That was why he was doing this for them. Because he loved Sam. “I know I will not come back. But I will always live on in your heart. Keep safe my friends. I know you’ll make it to the other side.” he jumped out and flew into space, saving his friends by destroying the incoming wreck with his blaster, floating away forever away into the void, away from the hole, away from them.

And then, they landed on soft grass. Happily, they realised this was a parallel universe where the people had saved themselves by saving Earth and its precious resources. This was the new beginning.

English Alternative Assessment corrections by Saffron Lim

Name: Saffron Lim (04)

Class: S1-03

Title: Faster Than Light (corrections)

   They heard light footsteps, followed by a heavier tread. A sonorous voice rang out, “ Miss Chara, we are here.” The staff of CERN*, the European Organization for Nuclear Research looked up from the four elliptical sweep of screens and panels. A herculean black man stood with his arms crossed.

      “Indeed, Mister Tyson,” said a timid voice. The staff turned to the voice and saw an elfin girl in school uniform. Two small black epaulets adorned her collar, a red ‘C’ on the left and a butterfly on the right.                    

     “Ongelooflike*!” murmured an Afrikaans accent, “ We have little particles and now little girls in CERN.”

    She looked like a Japanese child though the look in her eyes was older. 

“Who are you and what are you doing here? This is a high-security area that requires Level seven access,” snapped a woman.

    The girl swept her eyes around the space as if looking for a killer. She withdrew a rectangular object, smiling, “ Will this do, Dr. Sheehy?”

    Dr. Sheehy swallowed and looked at her colleagues. It was a Golden Ticket; a card encrypted to enter any office in CERN, NATO, the UN, IAEA* and the EU.

    “I am Chara from Contingencies. This is Mister Tyson, one of the Four Horsemen.” 

There was silence. This was a Contingencies agent with a Golden Ticket. And with one of the Four Horsemen. “Two days ago, a capsule appeared from nowhere on a French-built Mistral Warship in Marseille. Half of the six-meter capsule is still sticking out of the starboard hull.” 

    “I sense fear”, thought Chara. “Contingencies is interested. A beta version of the Hyperloop capsule rammed the vessel at light speed while the Alpha version is being still tested in California. The reduced pressure tube with pods driven by induction motors and compressors can theoretically achieve a maximum velocity of 1220 km/h.”

A spasm appeared on the South African’s cheek. He looked at Dr. Sheehy, who turned away. “There was a thin film of biological material coated inside the capsule. They were pulverised issue”.

     A few of the staff looked at Chara but what they saw was too frightening. Her kind was heard of but never seen – Monarch, the pin on her collar.

     “I can see your Tesla car remotes on the table tops and sense them in your pockets.” There was a general shuffling around at this. “ Tesla and Hyperloop – aren’t they the same company, Dr. Sheehy?”

    They were all on edge now, Chara bared her sharpened teeth, and they recoiled.

     “An organization had built a secret Hyperloop tube around the circumference of the Large Hadron Collider within an undeclared service tunnel. The passenger testing has been conducted with live subjects, probably refugees. Somehow the protons accelerated by the four boosters entered the Hyperloop. Hence, an FTL object was created accidentally or deliberately.”

“Hyperloop was never going to be a transport system. It was a railgun that could drive a capsule or a warhead to exceed c.”

     I am Chara; I am a Contingencies Agent.

     “We can’t change the history or causality created. We will continue this project you’ve started. We thank you.“

I close chapters to hide our futures and my past.

“Mister Tyson, they’re all yours.”    

His black suit heaved, split and a ball of white light filled the entire space.

                                      

*CERN: Organisation Européenne pour la Recherche Nucléaire (French)                            European Organization for Nuclear Research (English)

* Ongelooflijke ( Afrikaans ): Incredible 

* IAEA: International Atomic Energy Agency 

English Alternative assessment corrections by Keith Tan (24)

It was the year 2093, Byrd was learning science from his teacher, Mr Fawke, ‘This is all child's play to me’ Byrd thought to himself as he swiftly completed his worksheet.

After school had ended, Byrd walked though the technology filled streets of Lothal. As he pulled open the front door, Ori, his family robot excitedly said, “Welcome back young master! I have been meaning to tell you, my circuits…”

Realising that Byrd was not listening, Ori stopped and left. Byrd laid down on the couch and slowly drifted to sleep. However, he awoke to the deafening sound of alarms blaring all around him. Ori had picked up a knife and swung it wildly while screeching, “Die mankind!”

Byrd swung his backpack over his shoulders and ran to a window; the window did not stand a chance against agile Byrd as he landed perfectly on the pavement outside his house.

The outside was no better as humans ran from the crazy robots. “Follow me!.” An unfamiliar voice said.

Turning around, Byrd saw a boy about his age who was carrying a crowbar and smelled heavily of grease. Sensing no other choice, he followed the boy as he turned into a corner of a building, revealing well-hidden stairs leading down.

“I am Byrd, what about you?” Byrd asked the boy.

“My name is Tyr” The boy replied as they both walked down the stairs.

They entered the bunker where a dozen other people stood in front of a rectangular table. “Mr Fawke? Why are you here?” Byrd exclaimed.

Mr Fawke smiled and gestured for him to take a seat, so Byrd did. “What is happening? Why is it happening? And where are my parents?” Byrd blurted out.

Mr Fawke smiled sadly, “Everyone who could have been saved are in this room, the robots are planning to destroy mankind. The number of transistors in an integrated circuit increased exponentially, increasing computing capabilities hundredfold. This was predicted by Moore’s law, which observed and predicted this, but we did not listen.”

Byrd, angry and determined, asked, “How do we stop this?”

“Destroy the smartest computer,” Tyr replied.

After planning,  they marched up to the Lothal tower where the computer sat at the far end of a room, without acknowledging them.

Byrd ran forward only to get punched by a robot, not there a second ago. The team charged as Tyr ran to his friend’s side. Fortunately, observant Byrd came up with a plan, “He delays when programming the robot to attack.”

Knowing where Byrd was going, Tyr helped Byrd up and charged to an undefended spot. The plan went smoothly as the computer stalled. Byrd tightened his grip and a sledgehammer flew, busting the computer in on itself. They had won!

Not long after, they had to rebuild Lothal, throwing all the robots away to prevent that incident from happening again.

“How do you think Lothal would be in the future?” Tyr asked resting Byrd.

“Better than before,” Byrd said smiling.

English Alternative Assessment corrections by Kinjal Agarwal (02)

Draft 6: English Alternative Assessment
Name: Kinjal Agarwal
Class: S1-03
Date: 2-2-2016

The UNIQUE Girl!

Jessica’s eyelids peeled open before sliding close again. She yawned and then went back to sleep. She rolled to the side while her hologram watch lit up the whole room. It made a loud and annoying ‘beeping’ alarm that irritated her so badly. Its volume increased by the second. By then, Jessica was getting mad of the buzzing. She stood on her toes before giving out another loud yawn.
Jessica wore her most elegant outfit for Orientation that day. Although she was looking fabulous, she folded her arms and frowned, telling herself that she looked hideous because of her dark skin colour.
As soon as Jessica reached school, she settled down at her desk immediately, trying not to waste any time. She went to her Smart table and read a message from her classmate, “Hey, morning Blacky. You should change your name to Jessica Black instead! Haha!”. Jessica ignored the message and clicked on the “DEL” button. Jessica tried to concentrate on Mr Brown’s lesson before another message from the same classmate appeared on her screen.
“Don’t blame yourself Jessica! Being DARK skinned was in your genes, which your parents could not control…Ha Ha Ha!”. Jessica punched her finger on the “DEL” button again. She was getting a bit frustrated. More came.
“Seriously, you might also be mistaken for COAL one day! Ha Ha Ha !”. Jessica furiously jabbed the “DEL” button. And now she was about to lost her temper as she could not bear it when people made fun of her skin colour.
That day after school, without turning back to go home. She then went to meet a surgeon, Mr Lee. She stormed into the surgeon’s clinic and demanded to look “Fairer” while she was fuming with anger and her blood was boiling. Mr Lee told her calmly that it would be possible through a holographic surgery called Fairesynthesis, which could beautify someone within minutes. However, it would cost her a fortune, which she would not be able to afford it.
“I will do anything to be FAIRER! I am ready to do anything to generate the money. Just make my skin fair !” Jessica roared. The surgeon told Jessica to take a deep breath and then reflect on what she said. Jessica was adamant about her decision.
“Would you sell your kidney to generate the money?” The surgeon questioned her curiously.
“YES! I WILL! I WILL!” Jessica replied confidently. She did not fear in doing anything. Then, Mr Lee explained to her slowly.
 “Jessica, you are not that dark after all. In fact, you are quite fair. You were from the previous generation when this invention was not completed yet. So you should be proud of it and not embarrassed. Your skin colour should be a symbol of the fact that you are the oldest girl from that generation! You are UNIQUE Jessica!”.
Jessica went home more confidently, with her sleeves up, not afraid to show her dark skin. Even in school, she was no longer afraid. After the conversation with the doctor, Jessica was no longer hesitant to show anyone who she was as she wanted to show everyone what the real Jessica was. Jessica also wanted people to like her for who she was.

(537 words)

English Alternative Assessment corrections by Tan Ray Shyuan

      "Run!” Kendra yelled at Jewel. They ran as fast as lightning but were still caught by a

mischievous piglet. “ I finally caught you!  Little humans,” It  said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Kendra and Jewel were then placed in a big jar with holes in the lid.  “Jewel! Why did you do

this?” Kendra yelled at Jewel. Apparently, they had gone to a parallel universe, via a portal.                                                                                                                                  

      “ Here you go.” The piglet said as he threw Kendra and Jewel into a  cage.Their eyes darted

from side to side, to their surprise, many humans were living in the cage.                                                                                                            

        The cage’s condition was horrible, it smelled like rotten eggs, with human faeces everywhere.

Kendra and Jewel could not believe their eyes; they had to find a way to escape.

      That night, Kendra and Jewel had to sleep on filthy mattresses. The next day, Kendra

Revealed her big plan to the humans living there. When she talked to the humans, they all

approved of her idea, but knew that it was impossible for that to happen.

           “ Eureka!” Kendra shrieked. A brilliant idea suddenly struck her. “ What is it?” Jewel

asked curiously.  “  When the piglet feeds us and opens the gate,  someone will run out so that

The attention goes to him, and then, we will all dash out! Kendra explained.

      “Creak," the gate opened, they sprang into action.  John, a fellow human, sacrificed himself

Moreover, tried to divert attention.Then, the piglet started to chase after him. However, they had

underestimated it, it quickly caught up with John and squashed him in a blink of

An eye. Everyone was shocked with fear; they had shivers sent down their spines.

      “ That is what will happen if any of you try to escape!” It laughed. The look in the piglet eyes made their blood run cold. Then, he walked away.   “                              

         Kendra asked the remaining humans remorsefully, “ Anyone still wants to join me for plan

          B?”. There was a long silence.

        “ We must avenge John’s death!” some humans protested. On the other hand, some

people disagreed as more innocent lives might be sacrificed.

        Everyone began distrusting each other, and if that were to continue, they would be stuck

There forever! Kendra wanted to change the mindset of them; thus, she gave motivational speeches to encourage them to work together.

        After many talks, everyone finally agreed. Now, they had to carry out the plan, “ To play

dead”. “ It may seem simple, but, one wrong move and we are all dead as a dodo,” Jewel

warned.

       The next morning, plan B was carried out. They laid on the ground, not moving a single

muscle. Finally, piglet woke up and was dumbfounded to see all of his "pets" lifelessly on the

ground. Kendra and Jewel and stayed as still as a statue. It then throw them around, checking if

they were dead.                                                                                        

     After what seemed like an eternity, the piglet gave up and was convinced that they were all

dead. He then left the cage at the garbage dump.

        “ We are free!” Everyone screamed with joy; they were finally out of misery! If it was not for

Kendra's determination; they would be still trapped in that "living hell."

 Somebody: Kendra and Jewel Wanted: To escape the cage But: Their plan failed So: The

humans had a conflict Then: They decided to work together